5 Best Mascaras EVER (No Joke)

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One of the things I don’t like about myself: my eyelashes. I know it’s a weird thing to not like, but what can I say? They’re short, thin and whatever the extreme opposite of lush is. They’re very non-lush. The only quality they have going for them is that they’re dark – that’s the ONLY thing, and I’d trade that in for some length, any day. My boyfriend on the other hand has killer lashes. Honestly, I can’t do them justice. They’re long, thick, dark and perfectly curled – the Chanel of lashes. However they’re COMPLETELY wasted on him (I tell him so daily). It actually annoys me a little bit. It’s just like, why? WHY give a man such beautiful lashes? He doesn’t love them like I would. He doesn’t appreciate them or care for them. But long story, short eyelashes: my eyelashes aren’t one of my strengths, so I’ve tried a lot of mascaras – A LOT.

Don’t believe me? I’m so despo to find good mascaras that if I see someone with killer eyelashes or using a mascara I like the look of, I’m that creeper who asks them what it is. It doesn’t matter if I know them or not, if we’re chatting or not, or if they’re trying to do your makeup sneakily on the train – I’ll ask anyone, anywhere, any time. It’s just plain weird how many photos I have of random girls’ hands holding their mascaras. But a skimpy-lashed gals gotta do, what a skimpy-lashed gals gotta do.

And without further ado, here are by far the top 5 best mascaras I’ve ever tried:

1. Too Faced – Better Than Sex Mascara, $33

I hadn’t really experienced volume until I bought Too Faced’s Better Than Sex mascara – that is no joke. The cosmetics-wizards over at Too Faced developed a wand that makes the Elder Wand look like a child’s toy (that was a terrible Harry Potter joke, apologies. Luv u JK!). The bristles just create such volume, and thickness – it’s magic.

Not only that, Better Than Sex works on LOTS of people (and lashes). You know how sometimes a mascara looks amazing on someone, but then you buy it and it looks like the poo-emoji? Better Than Sex isn’t like that. Just about everyone I know who’s tried it, LOVES it. (Caps necessary.)

FYI – Better Than Sex and Climax by NARS (included below) are the most voluminous mascaras I’ve ever used.

Use for: volume and length, but particularly volume.

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2. Poni COSMETICS – THE White Knight Tubing Mascara, $30

One of the girls at work refused to let me do a 5-TO-TRY mascaras until I had tried tubing mascara. And holy jeepers, was she right! Tubing mascara is a cosmetic miracle! Never heard of tubing mascara? Prepare to be eye-lash blown.

Tubing mascaras are mascaras (still with me?) that use a special polymer. And as if anyone knows what a polymer is, so I’ll explain. A polymer is a molecule that has the ability to bind together (I probably just dumbed that down by a million per cent, but I’m sure I got the essence right). The special polymer used by tubing mascaras enables it to stick together, and essentially become a little tube around your eyelash (cute!). This makes tubing mascara incredibly easy to get off, as rather than smudging everywhere, it peels off in little tubes. And if that still didn’t make sense, basically: tubing mascara is hella easy to get off. The only downfall is that you can lose on length and volume.

Enter The White Knight. It is next level. It has two brushes – one for length, and one for volume – and it makes your lashes look beautifully naturally long and lush. My eyelashes are no longer damsels in distress. They’re strong, independent women who don’t need a man, but enjoy one and The White Knight is the man they’ve chosen. (Sorry, wanted to take a feminist approach and I got lost in the middle there.)

Use for: natural-looking long lashes. (And if you want a mascara that’s oh-so-easy to get off. No scrubbing needed.)

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3. NARS – Climax Mascara, $35

It’s new, it’s NARS, it’s next level volume.

Climax is the only mascara that competes with Better Than Sex on volume – and compete it does. I received a mini as a sample in a package I got, and I’m so glad I did or else I may not have tried it. It gives your lashes such lush volume. I’ve fallen head over heels for this mascara. I can’t recommend it enough.

Use for: volume. Full stop.

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4. Maybelline – Lash Sensational, $21.95

Maybe it’s her, maybe it’s this fantastic tube of goodness for $21.95. Who knows? (I do! It’s this mascara.)

Use for: even, long, full lashes.

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5. Benefit – Roller Lash, $43 (or $21 for the mini!)

I’ve never met a mascara that curls so much, I mean it seriously curls. No eyelash curler needed. I do have thin lashes, which may contribute to how easy they are to curl, but lots of people – on Instagram – say the same.

The brush is curved, which I believe is what gives it that superpower. But the beauty of it is, you don’t have to commit! Just try the mini. (That’s been my go-to tip lately: try the mini!)

Use for: length and curling.

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